5 Strange Ways to Creating an Everlasting Valentine’s Day

I still remember one specific Valentine’s Day. I came home from high school and there it was:  an exotic monster flower in a red plastic bucket on our kitchen table. It looked like an oversized gear stick of an ancient VW Beetle. Not really pretty. I almost burst out laughing loudly, but it was definitely not the right moment to show my amusement. My mother was disappointed because she would have preferred a bunch of roses to fit her crystal vase, and my father felt frustrated because he was missing appreciation for his unique gift. And instead of sharing a sweet kiss, a tender hug or the words “I love you,” they were both trapped in Valentine’s hamster wheel. 

Did you know that 53% of women would end their relationship if they didn’t get something for Valentine’s Day? Crazy!

Valentine’s Day has become a social obligation, a rule of courtesy and … a billion dollar business. Year after year millions of roses are produced. And don’t get me wrong. I love roses. However, they don’t bring solutions to relationship problems. For many couples, Valentine’s Day covers the blemishes of their love issues. For 24 hours they create the illusion of Romeo and Juliet - until the drama of daily tragedy takes over again. But it would be so easy to escape this useless treadmill …

Take the bolt out from the hamster wheel!

Transform your Valentine’s Day. You don’t have to skip the roses, the lovely cards or the candlelight dinners. Our economy applauds when you keep buying them. However, consider at least one of the following things to make your Romeo and Juliet love story survive:


1) The Deleting Scorecards Ceremony

There is the toxic behavior of creating a scorecard with all mistakes that a spouse has ever done and reciting it during disputes. For sure, key issues have to be solved, however, delete all the small things that aren’t worth hurting each other’s feelings. 

Do you remember how it felt when you mother warmed up your ancient offenses? Once I forgot Mother’s Day. Yes, I know, it’s a shame. I was a teenager and newly in love, that kind of love when your heart takes the lead on your thoughts. For decades, I got punished with remarks about having a bad memory.

What if you create a Valentine’s ceremony to delete each other’s scorecard? For example, create for each partner a written scorecard and then burn it with a candle, while promising to never again recite any of those topics. This would turn the page of relationship issues. Each year again, you’ll ensure that you will travel your love’s journey with lightweight … not only on Valentine’s Day. 


2) The Meaningful Morning Makeover

In the mornings, are you and your partner …

The first minutes in the morning impact the harmony in your love relationship long-term. However, many couples are unaware of their bad habits they apply in the most sensitive time of the day. Subtle shifts in the first minutes of the day can create radical change in your love relationship. When waking up you are most receptive and vulnerable. Your heart is open and a single word can hurt and unbalance your emotion, energy and soul. Valentine’s Day is perfect to take some time and spy on improvements of your morning routine


3) The WishMap Wonder Game

What about a love and life changing game? Valentine’s Day is perfect for it, as we walk and talk with open hearts and a loving attitude. Organize colorful crayons and markers. Have some romantic music playing in the background while you draw together the WishMap of your love relationship on a big piece of paper. All the needs and wishes related to your partnership have to be included. There’s only one rule to strictly follow:  avoid discussing or commenting on each other’s input and ideas. Whatever they are, how crazy they might be, say an inner “yes” and note them. 

Let your creativity and fantasy flow. Have fun while you generate your unique WishMap, giving your relationship attention and direction for the future. Discover things about your partner, you couldn’t see with open eyes. Things, that only reveals an open heart.


4) The Leisure Cards Award

There are tons of blog posts about how laziness holds you back from enjoying life fully and how to overcome that. Perhaps I shouldn’t say that. But I confess … I think it’s the opposite. Laziness helps you to rejuvenate your soul and love relationship. Do you remember your last holiday? No obligations, just doing what you want … even when it’s nothing. And voilà! Love and happiness were blossoming. 

But back home, the old, daily routine whispers that laziness is useless. So, what about sharing some “Leisure Cards” as award for all the hard work you’re doing day by day. An “official” permission to enjoy a spa day alone, or hang out with some good friends. Whatever your laziness wants you to do, do it! As individuals we have unique needs. Give them some time. Your love relationship will appreciate this as well.


5) The Shush! Shirt

As women we are emotionally driven. When a discussion heats up, any man will be happy to have a shirt like this. By putting on this shirt, you are reminded about what really counts. No, it’s not the issue that you’re talking about right now. It’s the unbreakable fact that you love each other, although you might disagree on a topic. 

Sometimes we need to be reminded of this before words get out of control. Whenever your partner puts the Shush! Shirt on, he says that he loves you. Stop discussing and have a loving, tender hug instead.

The headline of this post promised to share 5 strange ways to creating an everlasting Valentine’s Day. But, frankly spoken, there are 6 of them. My last and most important recommendation to helping you crack the Valentine’s hamster wheel bolt is:

Buy solutions to relationship problems … not flowers.

There are tons of great books out there that help you to improve your relationship skills. Challenges in relationships always will show up. You can only handle them with grace and ease by outgrowing them. The more you develop your personal skills, the more giant problems become small smurf issues.

If you found inspiration in this blog post, please consider purchasing my book entitled Butterfly Habits: How to Make Your Honeymoon Last Forever and discover more than 70 amazing shifts to bring out the beauty of your romantic relationship.


February 5th, 2016